


Static

by ArsenicSnap (HarperZale)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brain Injury, Update fic, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-25
Updated: 2012-09-25
Packaged: 2017-11-15 01:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarperZale/pseuds/ArsenicSnap
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something<br/>not<br/><i>right.</i></p><p>You can feel the neurons crackling and popping under your skull, like a machine with kegs that grate incessantly against one another without any oil to ease it along everything screeches <i>too loudly </i>in a shuddering shaky discord that echoes and bounces against the walls of your mind an infinite amount of time and you can hear the raspy voices underneath it injecting you with the horrifying secrets of the future you<i> never wanted</i></p><p>and you want to<i> scream</i> just make it<i> stop oh god please.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Static

**Author's Note:**

> mituna-centric ficlet i farted out idk i just haven’t posted anything in so long im so sorry also i think the formatting fucked me over
> 
> i need to update my oTHER FICS BUT I'VE JUST FELt reaLLY BAD ABOUT MY WRITING RECENTLY AHSKskejsmsejrrkdldekeklk (case in point thIS PIECE but im posting it because whY NOT)
> 
> feedback is 1748392093845748% appreciated thank
> 
> writing tumblr is [here](http://doublepistolsandsomeink.tumblr.com) if interested and personal is [here](http://atticussfinch.tumblr.com/) if u wanna drop by and say hey or s/t
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr version of this piece for whatever reason if u want to reblOG IT OR SOMething i reallY DON'T KNOw](http://doublepistolsandsomeink.tumblr.com/post/32246874144)

There's something  
not  
_right._  
  
You can feel the neurons crackling and popping under your skull, like a machine with kegs that grate incessantly against one another without any oil to ease it along everything screeches _too loudly_ in a shuddering shaky discord that echoes and bounces against the walls of your mind an infinite amount of time and you can hear the raspy voices underneath it all injecting you with the horrifying secrets of the future you _never wanted_  
  
and you want to _scream_ just make it _stop oh god please_.

  
It's never been this bad before.  
  
You thought you could do it you ignorant fuck this is what you get  
your fault _your faultyourfaultyougotta **TRY**_  
  
You've got to try because there's _**NO ONE ELSE**_ who sees the things you do god dammit _doesn't anyone realize you're all going to die you don't **understand** please just listen to me **please** I'm **right here** _

_why won't you listen?_  
  
There are worse things that can happen to someone than dying.  
  
You learn this the hard way.  
  
Your mind tears itself apart like a sheet of paper, _rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippp_  and again and again and _rip rip **rip**_ threads of thought pull each other tight in rows strained taut enough to be guitar strings if you reached out and pluck _pluck **pluck**_ they **snap** and YOU _snap_ everything is _too hot_ _TOO HOT_ **TOO HOT** _YOU CAN DO THIS YOU'LL SHOW THEM YOU'LL **SAVE** THEM YOU'RE NOT JUST A WEAK_

_LITTLE_

**_FREAK._ **

  
_someone_

  
_help_  
  
_you **can't**_  
  
You sit on the ground with your helmet pressed between your ridiculously knobbly knees (you never were very strong in any way were you? what a sickening piece of _shit_ they were always right) like it's the only thing keeping your brain inside your head because it IS and you _scream_ you **_SCREAM_** _LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOUR VOCAL CORDS TO **SNAP** AND BREAK AND SHATTER AGAINST THE GROUND WITH YOUR SANITY WITH **YOURSELF**_ you _scream_ and **_scream_ ** and bang your head against the ground and _you just want the pain to stop_  
_please someone nothing is getting better you're such a stupid_  
_fuck_

  
_you fucked it up_  
  
you were never meant to be the hero you stepped out of line you're so sorry please just someone make it stop you'll do anything please oh god

  
  
you

cry.

  
Your face pressed against the gritty ground below you, snot running in disgusting trails befitting of such a _disgusting_ being down your cheeks,

you contemplate death.  
  
You cry because you never want to move ever again and  
  
You cry until you don't.

There's blood trickling from your ears mouth nose _everywhere_  you can't see because of it just thick soupy disgusting mustard clogging everything reducing everything to _nothing_  (just like you)  
  
**you don't care.**  
  
You pushed yourself too hard and now you're gone.

You're gone so far and so hard right now that you've stopped registering the pain stopped registering _anything_  
  
The drool the pain or the uncomfortable sensation of your body hunched on the ground or _anything_ you just  
  
_breathe_  
  
In, out.  
  
In.  
  
out  
  
You think someone's been with you the whole time and you think they might have screamed with you earlier but maybe you just made that up in your own mind  
  
_(had you even actually screamed?)_  
  
but it doesn't matter because your own mind is not quite _yours_ anymore and you don't care because it doesn't hurt so much.  
  
You don't ever want to go back there.  
  
Your head is no longer against the unforgiving coldness of the hard floor and maybe it's someone's lap _but you just don't know_  
  
You don't think, _how long have you been there._  
  
You don't think, _why didn't you help me I think I died two minutes ago everything broke I fucked up I actually died didn't I._  
  
You don't even think, _help._  
  
You don't think at all.  
  
You surrender your flag, white and torn and smashed against the dirty recesses of some dark corner of what's left of your sentience.  
  
You surrender consciousness, to escape the formidable grey-black cloud of static that descends with all the force of an enormous ocean wave, thundering white noise against your ears.  
  
You  
  
_surrender._


End file.
